I used to be happy.

I used to write
to fill the emptiness of this void
inside me
I used to be happy back then
when I start using words in paper
just to call my thoughts
just to make peace happen
inside me.

There was a break of this writing
I stopped believing that the peace
could be brough by writing thoughts
There could be a break of this writing
but I don't want to leave it all behind
not another piece of who I was
I really love my old self though.

And even though all these are ruins
I try to make them count
as kingdoms.

Even though there is not a single team of people
to make it last
I pretend that there is the biggest show going on
only for me
only to believe that
it matters to some of them
that there is a reason behind my battle
a reason to continue to write
and create
as much as I can.

I will recall these minutes
as my ultimate try
inside myself.


-------------

The saddest thing I own
except my phone
that never rings ---
is myself.
My own self. The inner core of my existence.

The most original thing I own
except the few people I see daily
is myself.
My own self. The inner core of my existence.

Sad but true.