Nightdreaming of Silence

It's night again, but never silent.
Always someone screams.

Loud voices, engines roaring.
Inside out
of you.

I managed to find the inner temple though,
stay sane in this insane world.
Maybe I am the insane one.
Maybe I will never know.

The world moves in circles
everything is the same in the end.
Even though it's the opposite way.

How can my heart survive what my brain has accepted?
They coexist but-
It is invain.
I am drowning in silence and happy for it.
Should I manage to survive but how
and why?
I am a ticking time bomb since the beginning of time.
I see them all
pretending
and I can't stay that way.
I am what I am.
Staying in the dark, inactive.
Looking at the city far away in a starless night.
Pitch black the sky, the sea is all I hear.
Staying at the beach inside my mind tonight.
It's cold but clears my soul.
I look at the horizon and then I finally sleep there.
Don't search for me, I am not here anymore.
I don't even want to go back there again.
I wish I could stay here forever.
In my minds beach away from it all.
The same way I learned myself to mute the sounds to have peace.
Artificially and spiritually, alone.
Because real life is all about surviving the life you can't have.
Only your mind is yours.
The rest is by the rules.

I think I am going for a dive
back into the deep dark waters now.

And it's going to be a long dive.